success?

today, i'm reminded that i'm not responsible for the success of outcomes. i'm just here to dream of a better country and to work for that dream as if it can come to be for my family, community, country, and the world. we are the privileged - scheming under the hot star signing hymns and sonnets. i am blessed to be in the teeth of the incinerator. the sun is out, and i'm smiling.

10/14. Salt Lake City, UT

why was i made
to scrape this terrain?
how then shall we live
when it's giving us the bends?
how can we survive
it's a fight to stay alive?
where will go
when home is status quo?

if we were made for more
then why do we need all these cars?
and name tags and jobs and identities
if industry is an adequate god
why are our farmers robbed?
why are our women painted on every t.v. screen
for pleasant scenery

if we're the chosen ones
why is beauty being defined by demons?
sitting in marketing meetings
and why are we eating
all they're feeding ?

you are.

You are good.
and You cannot be otherwise so
in Your hands
we uncomfortably wrestle
with all You are
opposed to what we see
in the psalmist cave
we're on our knees

What is this?
Can you hear the noise from our lips?
It's the only thing left to say
My world is yours to take
take my family, take my job
take the cash deep in my pockets (soul)
take this stone, replace a heart
give me the Spirit to grasp the goodness You are

You are there.
& You cannot be never here
in the womb
in the tomb
in the burning and beautiful
we call out
and often hear nothing
then wake to see
You were the sound
of our calling

10/27/2010

good night, argentina

Buenos Aires, Argentina
good night argentina.

We left summer in Guatemala and found spring flirting with Brazil & Argentina. Buenos Aires stole my heart. Spain and Eastern Europe holding hands, trading architecture and pouring Malbec. I sat at a cafe on a street corner and watched students intersect with a cup - cafe con leche. Argentina stole my heart.

Brazil.

Brazil.

right now, i'm on a 7 hour flight to Brazil. instead of sleeping last night, i gave up my hour of z for a sip of the rooster Gallo and the spin cycle. it was worth it. thank you Guatemala City for giving me clean underpants.

Sao Paulo = Lost in Translation
We're now off the grid. Spanish is a second language here. English is further behind third. Portuguese sounds french with a few familiar spanish words. Everyone keeps poking me for attention, because i travel with important people, and they want a shot of a celebrity by one degree of separation. I deny all the requests with a loaded smile. To remedy a grueling work day, we got lost in the streets of Sao Paulo with the courage of a local beverage called Caprinia, and a full belly from a Churrascaria. I ate a chicken heart. it tasted like a mushroom. We were told to avoid Taxi's because they aren't metered and frequent kidnapping's occur. Through a maze of dark streets, we found some good Sao Paulo culture. Joakini's Bakina burger. One of the better burgers in the world with a side of herb mayo and Brahama Black.

3 Hours later we were on a bus driving across Brazil, crossing randomly placed plantain orchards and ancient ruins. Ribeirao Preto and Goiania were a blur. Just a big mess of communication scrabble and culture shock.

Guatemala City, Guatemala

Guatemala City, Guatemala

our journey lead us from Mexico City, through Panama City, through Managua to Guatemala. the flights were long and the air was ripe. i complained a bit, and then wiped the sweat and grease off my beard realizing that i was contributing to the atmosphere. i just finished 'Home Economics' with an amazing encore. Some brilliant musings about the effect of local community on our local and global economics. i've been processing those thoughts and hope to post them when they're clear. there's no use to talk about tiredness. that seems redundant - and redundancy = boredom. I will say that instead of coffee, i found a modelo especial to encourage the contemplation of community and it's value on our well being. son las 8 a la manana. that was a record for me! never had a beer that early before. all these flights will do that to ya.

we had some down time today while staying in some apartments nestled in the jungle hills around guatemala city. it was odd to be still after moving so much. i took my computer out to the balcony and looked at my girls. they looked back at me. they are growing so beautifully. behind them, the jungle and a Guatemalan man hard a work hacking weeds with a machete.

there's an interesting translation for Romans 12 VS 2-4 in the message. the verbiage goes something like "Don't become so well-accustomed to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to it's level of immaturity." Being here has made me realize how American i am, in the positive and the negative sense. A lot of my guttural responses are pretty nasty. I don't think any culture has arrived anywhere worth bragging about, but the stuff i'm seeing ain't purty.

I love intentionality. Taking faith into culture in contrast to a whimsical hope that these two concepts will find intersection. The latter feels much more accidental and random like throwing darts. i find that when my tongue is active in prayer, i follow God in situations where i otherwise would just choose one of my instinctual emotions. in the aforementioned, i actually start doing things that have a lasting impact for the benefit of others and subsequently see sun rays of hope in the otherwise darkness.

i'm struggling to root my life on these words, cause i'm used to living comfortably in the popular tide of American Culture which has no use for them… but feel the tug boat of greater oceans pulling me into unchartered unorthodox waters of the Kingdom of God. in these places, there is no rote.

The parts of Latin America that have stayed small and focused really get into the soul. The cities can feel like a copy of a copy of westernization, with malls, billboards and consumerism. After flying over a shack town like parts of Manaqua you realize the effect of all our consumption options and one starts to wonder where the discipline of simplicity has gone, and question the effects of it's absence.

Mexico City, Mexico

passport stamps, airplanes, sleep deprivation and latin america through a window seat.
- Mexico City, Mexico

the bags under my eyes are dangling like earlobes. sleeplessness is catching up. a dude traveling with us fell asleep standing up. Mexico City surprised me with it's manicured landscape and sophistication. why should it not be so? some of the city parks are a kin to chicago. As the sky scrapers fill the skyline of Manhattan, houses paint the hills of mexico city. They are everywhere, covering every stretch of available landscape.

the work day was challenging today. i was my own translator - a job that i'm unqualified for. it was hard to keep a clear head. Cappuccino's and corn tortitias topped with sautéed carne and fried cotija cheese help. the local culture offers adrenaline. caffeine gives speed. we are always on a time crunch. everything is a rush - even communication. We Americans are electric currents in a country that responds to a different charge. it's a real challenge to stay respectful. that's my regret today, as i'm struggling to communicate in my own language on a few winks of sleep, not mention theirs. I came to a great realization. None of my tone and non-verbals are going to speed up the reality that i cannot fluently speak spanish and negotiate transactions with smoothly. crap attitude gains reverse traction. you almost have to give in to the form and let your body sink into the cushion around you. you have smile and be grateful for the privilege to do business with God's greatest creation on a foreign land. i'm hopeful that negations can take place in niceties. especially after amazing tacos and beer.