DEC. 6, 2006
the first step is a doosey. i blacked out at 4 am on a tile floor while trying to pee. ever since, i've been off. out of body. aquarium eyes. people look into me, little fish swim around seeking composure, no one looks out. i got a run in yesterday and that was to me an accomplishment. maybe i can shake this feeling of panic by routines and disciplines. i'm still not ready for a drink, but i sure want one.
virginia sends its love.
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